The Lost Joy of Spending Money
I hope this email finds you a well, I hope you are having a lovely week, and enjoyed a lovely holiday season. Let me share with you another topic that has been on my mind.
With everyone’s New Year’s resolutions set in stone, stapled to fridges or bathroom mirrors, I’ve decided to take a different approach this year. In past years, I’ve noted how many resolutions revolve around saving more, investing better, and striving for greater financial success. But this year, I found myself pondering a more intriguing question: How do we actually spend our wealth once we achieve it?
This idea lingered in my mind for a while. My last podcast recording in 2024 (yet to be aired) was with Oliver Burkeman, the author of the insightful book Four Thousand Weeks: Time Management for Mortals. During our conversation, he referenced the famous Stanford Marshmallow Experiment and the value of delayed gratification. Then, he shared an interesting twist:
Those who wait for one marshmallow might wait for the next one, and the next, never truly enjoying any of them.
Delayed gratification is indeed essential for success in many areas—whether it’s learning a new language, adopting a workout routine, or achieving financial goals. Yet, once we achieve what we desire, it’s not always intuitive how we can enjoy it. The act of waiting often brings its own satisfaction, to the point where the proverbial marshmallow—our reward—becomes almost secondary or even irrelevant.
Dr. Jordan Grumet, a best-selling author, award-winning podcaster, and hospice doctor, offered me another perspective: reaching financial independence may not be as fulfilling as we assume. We often believe that many of life’s problems would disappear if only we had more money.
But once we acquire financial wealth, we find that while some issues do fade, others persist—and new challenges may emerge, like forgetting (or never learning) how to enjoy our newfound financial freedom (or worrying about losing it once we have it).
Jared Dillian, a financial writer with several wonderful books, shared a personal story with me that struck a chord. He recalled the moment when he allowed himself to buy an expensive pair of shoes. For years, he had diligently saved, watched his income grow, and built his net worth, yet he continued depriving himself of the joy of spending. Finally, he realized he could afford the indulgence—and he acted on it.
Focusing too much on the next marshmallow or treating money solely as a goal in itself can lead to a narrow perspective. As ironic as it may sound coming from a lifelong investor, I sometimes wonder if we should also learn the art of enjoying our wealth as we accumulate it.
Saving and investing wisely are invaluable habits, but finding joy in spending—mindfully and meaningfully—is a skill worth cultivating.
In my most recent podcast recording with Emily Bouchard (who helps families navigate the topics of money and love), I mentioned the “the growing marshmallow pile” question. Emily said something I really liked.
She said that those who accumulate marshmallows find joy in giving them away. Now, that’s another excellent thought!
So, one of my New Year’s resolutions this year is to strike a balance. I aim to save and invest thoughtfully while also embracing the occasional pleasure of parting with money. Believe me, it’s an acquired skill—not the spending itself, which is easy, but the thoughtful use of those marshmallows and discovering joy in the experience.
Happy Investing!
Bogumil Baranowski
Disclosure:
Blue Infinitas Capital, LLC is a registered investment adviser. The information presented is for educational purposes only and does not intend to make an offer or solicitation for the sale or purchase of any specific securities, investments, or investment strategies. Investments involve risk and, unless otherwise stated, are not guaranteed. Be sure to first consult with a qualified financial adviser and/or tax professional before implementing any strategy discussed herein. Past performance is not indicative of future performance.