Guest: Ruschelle Khanna - Family business consultant, psychotherapist, and author of "Inherited Trauma and Family Wealth"
Key Timestamps & Ideas
3:00-5:30 - Growing Up in Coal Country
Ruschelle's childhood in rural West Virginia during the 1990s
The coal company "scrip" system as a form of indentured servitude
How underlying financial anxiety shaped her early money scripts despite feeling abundant as a child
5:30-8:00 - The Origins of Inherited Trauma Work
Three catalysts for writing her book: inheriting a traumatic memory from her mother, experiencing Lyme disease, and 20 years of client work in NYC
Working with both extremely wealthy clients and parolees - discovering similar patterns of being trapped
8:00-12:00 - The Prison Metaphor
Powerful insight: Both poverty and wealth can create psychological prisons
Men coming out of actual prison: those who thrived vs. those who returned
"If you're the free mind inside of that cage, it doesn't matter where you are"
12:00-15:30 - Practical Healing Strategies
Family governance as therapeutic tool
Genealogy research for healing
The importance of getting families talking
Emotional intelligence in wealth management: caring for the "feeling brain" before the "thinking brain"
15:30-20:00 - Transparency vs. Secrecy
The case for transparency about family wealth with next generation
How secrecy can rob children of pride in family legacy
Setting boundaries while being open: "This isn't yours, you didn't make it"
Avoiding manipulation through clear communication
20:00-25:00 - Multi-Generational Dynamics
How living longer creates more generations alive simultaneously
Value differences between generations are natural and normal
The importance of documenting family legacy and stories
Understanding the "unique collection of coincidences" that created family wealth
25:00-30:00 - The Five Liabilities of Family Teams
Cycles of chaos, conflict avoidance, people pleasing, procrastination, and abandonment
How conflict in wealthy families is "not about the money" but about belonging and unspoken pain
Looking for underlying trauma as the root cause
30:00-35:00 - Money as Intimate Energy
Money sits at our "root chakra" with sexuality and intimacy
The pudendal nerve: "the place to be ashamed of" in Latin
Why people will discuss trauma but avoid talking about money in therapy
35:00-40:00 - Success vs. Failure in Wealth Transition
Success: Creating strong relational, financial, and operational systems
Even "abandonment" can work itself out energetically over generations
Blended families have increased emotional complexity and trust issues
40:00-45:00 - Self-Worth and Sibling Disparities
The pillar metaphor: never feeling "less than" in any room
Cultivating both inherent worth ("you're lovable because you exist") and earned worth
How wealth disparities between siblings can destroy family relationships
45:00-50:00 - Addressing Compulsive Behaviors
Compulsive spending as addiction: "what is the pain you're running from?"
Imposter syndrome vs. Dunning-Kruger effect as two sides of worth issues
The "inversion of trust" - feeling safer with strangers than family
50:00-55:00 - Individual Change Creates Systemic Healing
How working on inherited trauma individually can heal entire family systems
The "fascia" metaphor: removing one knot improves the whole system
Success as creating lasting change while learning personally
Podcast Program – Disclosure Statement
Blue Infinitas Capital, LLC is a registered investment adviser and the opinions expressed by the Firm’s employees and podcast guests on this show are their own and do not reflect the opinions of Blue Infinitas Capital, LLC. All statements and opinions expressed are based upon information considered reliable although it should not be relied upon as such. Any statements or opinions are subject to change without notice.
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